Wanting a memorial tattoo for my son

[Lindsey]

Hi guys. I'm new here. I don't have any tattoos currently, but I'm very open to them. I am a bit needle-phobic, though.

My first child passed away when he was a month old. It's been a little over two years since then. I've wanted to get one for a while now, but I have held off because I haven't been able to decide on what to get and I also had my second child 7 months ago. Maybe you guys can help me brainstorm.

I'm a teacher, so I have to put it somewhere that I can easily cover up for work. I'm not done having kids, so I don't want it anywhere on my abdomen to avoid stretching it out. I have a fair amount of acne scarring on my shoulders, so I don't tend to show them too often. I still tend to break out there, so I'm not sure if that'd be a good place to put a tattoo or not.

My son's name was Kenneth James. I've toyed with the idea of getting his footprints, but that seems to be what everyone who has lost a baby does, and I'd like it to be a little more unique to him. He died because of a severe congenital heart defect. We painted his room in dragonflies, so dragonflies have come to symbolize him for us.

Any ideas you might have regarding design or placement would be really appreciated.

[Carbine]

I'm sorry too hear you loss.
I have my son's name written on the inside of my bicep, its in line with the Japanese traditional of having erotic or personal tattooing in the arm pit, its for your and those who know you intimately only. It wasn't painful having it done there just the angle on which I had to hold my arm for about an hour and a half.

Don't be scared of getting a tattoo, be afraid of not being able to stop getting them.

[kitten]

I think you already spelled out ideas for a memorial tattoo perfectly! Hearts and/or dragonflies are lovely. I think I remember reading that dragonflies were thought to be messengers from the Gods.

As for placement, as Carbine said, the inside upper arm is a good spot. Maybe try the left arm so it is close to your heart? The outside upper arms are good too. Just try to keep the tattoo above short-sleeve length if your are concerned about showing it at work.

[Judy]

I love the dragonfly idea as well. I'd probably work it into a whole back piece. A HUGE dragonfly, totally realistic, down to the shadow behind it. Maybe they could work his name into the wing, or put in right under a wing. Maybe a backpiece of different types of dragonflies? You could represent the child you lost as well as the one you have and the others you will have can be added later.

[Lindsey]

My only concern about getting a dragonfly is that so many people get cutsy little dragonflies that don't mean anything. Hmm. I'm still on the fence about what to get. Footprints are appealing because of the obvious message behind them. Dragonflies are appealing because they symbolize Kenneth, as long as the artist could give me one that doesn't look sorority-girl cutsy. Placement-wise, I'm thinking of putting it on my back or flank because it's easy to cover without limiting my work wardrobe (I teach on a very relaxed campus, so I wear sleeveless things to work all the time-- I live in Texas and it's HOT for a good part of the school year!).

LOL at the full back piece! I'm not that brave. My brother has a full back piece (a very intricate celtic knot) and he said that it took a very long time to finish. I have a needle phobia, so I don't know that I could do that.

Thanks for the ideas so far. I'd love to hear any more that anyone might have.

[Judy]

I know what you mean about the dragonflies. I had the same problem with butterflies, all the ones I saw looked like flash off the tattoo shop wall. I found a great portrait artist in my area and brought him pictures of real butterflies, so I actually have portraits of butterflies on my back. I think the only problem with the foot print is that the lines are so close together they might blur as you get older, unless you want to go BIG with that as well.

I also know what you mean about Texas, I live just north of Austin. I'm an RN though so I wear the same scrubs to work every week-end. Nobody sees anything unless I show them. I bet your glad your not in school right now. It's going to be over 100 all week, AACCKK!!

[Ramon Ostolaza]

Sorry for your loss, having the tattoo is something important, and even more because of your phobia.

Regarding the design, maybe a dragonfly standing on the top of a grass leaf that just emerged from the water... dragonflies are born under water and emerge climbing the cattails and other plants, they take their fisrt fligt there...

About the place, well, i'll go on a place where you can see it. If not the chest, then maybe a leg?

[Pyrrhus Darwin Castello]

Im sorry for your loss Lindsey.Were are you located? Maybe we can recommend a artist for you who would do a kick ass sensitive dragonfly :)

[Lindsey]

I think I finally have an idea that I like. Realistic, soft-looking folded angel wings done in black and grey, folded so that you see the inside of the wings. In the center of the wings, a resting dragonfly with soft, muted colors. I would want the dragonfly to look like it had just landed, not the typical open-winged sorority girl dragonfly. I'm debating as to whether or not I should include Kenneth's name and dates or some other text. I'm leaning towards "not" just because I don't want it to have too much going on and I don't want it to be huge.

If I described it to an artist like that, do you think they'd be able to have a good idea of what I want?

[Judy]

Sounds great! I think if you had a great artist he/she would understand exactly what you want. Now you can start searching for reference material. I'd look for a photograph of a dragonfly in the position you want, maybe find some photos or drawings of the type of angel wings you're interested in. I think I'd lean towards not on the name as well. You know why it's there, that's the important thing.

Did you decide where to put it?

We've got a few Texans on here, where in Texas are you? Maybe we can give you some names.

[Lindsey]

I'm in the San Antonio area :)

[Judy]

My artist is in downtown Austin if your interested in a little road trip, he also works in Dallas, San Antonio I'm not sure about. He is an amazing portrait artist though, check out these links
www.scottellistattoo.com
www.triplecrowntattoo.com